This is Ralph. He lives in my neighborhood, just across from the corner of 55th and Booth. He’s lived there for two weeks as of this evening.
The first thing you might notice about Ralph is that he is in amazingly good shape for a hot dog bun that has been lying on the ground, outdoors… for two weeks. No mold. No noticeable aging. So far, neither bird nor beast has taken a bite of Ralph. Not even the insects will touch him.
Ralph has a real lesson to teach us all, I think. If nature can’t kill him and the worms won’t eat him, how long – really – could a person last on Frankenfood like this? Think about it… next time you eat a hot dog and later find yourself bent over the porcelain throne yelling for Ralph… maybe it wasn’t the hot dog that got you.
Maybe it was the Revenge of Ralph.