2016-02: February

February 1

Salvador: Jobs and the economy? Why, when I am President, I will put millions back to work shredding cheese to go on my kibble!
Me: That’s a silly plan.
Salvador: I’m going to make America grate, again.
Me: What else have you got?
Salvador: I’m going to invest in green energy and bio-diesel.
Me: Now you’re talking.
Salvador: I promise to make the trains run on thyme.
Me: And just like that, it’s over.

February 1

Me: So, what’s your position on global warming?
Salvador: I support it. And when I’m president, I’m going to do everything I can to encourage it.
Me: But, Sal…
Salvador: No buts. I support it and I’ve supported it all along. All of the other candidates have a history of flip-flopping on this important issue.
Me: Buddy… nobody wants global warming.
Salvador: Of course the do. Everyone goes to the beach for a vacation. Where it’s warm. No one goes to Minnesota. I say, beaches for everybody!